If you are currently suffering from intrusive thoughts this los angeles cancer specislist may trigger additional upsetting thoughts and it may be better to skip it. We often talk about the intrusive thoughts of postpartum anxiety and postpartum OCD here on Postpartum Progress, things like envisioning dropping your baby down the stairs, or much worse.
It was a great question, because it happens. So I invited Beth to share her story with us. I was the expectant mother who read everything she could get her hands on about her unborn child. Before she was born, I had dutifully checked off each item that I would need for my new baby. The first couple of months went as well as you could expect with a new infant. I was having a hard time, los angeles cancer specislist, but it was nothing out of the ordinary.
However, other things outside of my daughter started affecting my anxiety levels. One month later my grandmother died. Emotionally I was already teetering, and then I had my first intrusive thought three months after my daughter was born. My world fell apart. I was changing her diaper and a horrible los angeles cancer specislist of molesting my daughter flashed through my mind.
I spent the next few days trying to understand why I would think such a thing. A normal mother would never think something like that.
I thought that something was terribly wrong with me because only a terrible person who belonged behind bars would ever think of something that horrible. The more I worried about the thought, the more unsettled and dispensador jabon antibacterial I got.
The thoughts got worse and came at me more frequently. I remember praying frantically, thinking that some sort of evil spirit had taken me over. I withered in silence for a month or so before telling my husband. All the while, the thoughts got worse and more frequent, los angeles cancer specislist. In the meanwhile, I quit my job to stay at home with J.
What would they think if they knew the kind of thoughts I had? They would think I was a horrible person. Calling to make an appointment with a therapist was difficult. I was afraid that if I told her what I had thought that someone would take my baby away. Somehow I made the appointment and very slowly my story unfolded, los angeles cancer specislist.
My single mom appreciated me having a friend whose family welcomed me into their home after school and during the summers. They were a antibacterial activity of family who adopted and fostered los angeles cancer specislist. They were ofloxacin in animals participants in their church. They had a large family and they welcomed me into it with open arms.
Shortly after I moved in, one of the girls told me that her father had sexually abused her. I confronted the parents, only to find out that it was true, and that it had not only happened to her, los angeles cancer specislist, but many of the children.
Then they asked me to keep this secret. So I kept it. To my detriment, I kept their secret. I was never abused myself and the abuse was not happening while I lived there, but it had happened, los angeles cancer specislist. So I tucked it away, los angeles cancer specislist.
All of this fear surfaced when I had J. I was so afraid that something like this could happen to her somehow. I was not at risk to be an abuser myself, but none of that mattered. All that mattered to me was that I had had these terrible, unthinkable thoughts and that was enough damnation in my mind. I felt that because I had these terrible thoughts that I would forever be scarred and never the same again. I wanted so badly to take it back or get los angeles cancer specislist do-over.
I felt I would never be the mother that I could have been because of these unwanted, intrusive thoughts, los angeles cancer specislist. I was hesitant to take antidepressants because I was breastfeeding. But one day I had had enough. The thoughts were bad and I felt like it would never end.
I was walking around the house crying and I picked up the phone and called my lactation consultant about going on meds. She supported my decision and I made an appointment with a doctor at my OB office. Luckily, he was very helpful and supportive. I started to notice a difference about a month later, and it got me over the hump. I felt like I could deal with this. Yoga and meditation practice have also been los angeles cancer specislist in my recovery.
I am doing much better now. I los angeles cancer specislist still having productive therapy sessions and the intrusive thoughts are much less frequent and bothersome. I have had a few setbacks that, at the time, were devastating, but each time it was easier to get back up than the time before.
Through this whole ordeal I can say that I have learned a lot about myself, and all of the work that I have done on myself is making vitamin k and d a better mother and a better person, and for that I am grateful. Thank you so much for sharing your story Beth. It is possible for women to have unwanted thoughts of a sexual nature as part of their illness.
These thoughts can happen regardless of whether you have a history of sexual abuse, los angeles cancer specislist. It los angeles cancer specislist important to know you are not alone, and you can get help, los angeles cancer specislist.
So many of who suffer have symptoms that are so scary, and we are unable to understand! It is almost as if out brain is "broken"; hence all of the disturbing and odd symptoms…but knowing that with time, we do heal, gives us strength to hang in there!
Thanks for sharing…how very brave! Thank you for addressing this. I also want to put in a word for moms who have these thoughts but do not have any social security and the stimulas plan with sexual abuse. I can understand the feeling that a background of it would provide at least some explanation, would make it easier to explain away. What about the moms without this history? You are exactly right. Having had thoughts about hurting my kids, it really helped me to realize that the root of the thoughts was simply that I was terrified of someone else hurting them.
Knowing I would not hurt them helped me to remind my self when I had the thoughts that I was just setting up a mental safeguard to keep them safe. This mostly happened as I was falling asleep at night when my first 2 were little. Now with my 3rd, I rarely if ever have these thoughts. So remember, if you have these thoughts it is because you are a good mom who actually wants to protect your kids, not hurt them! I was never sexually abused as a child but I still had them fast and furious after my now 2 year old was 6 months old.
The shame I felt when I had them was awful. I know where they stem from though… my fear of my son being molested. My brother was molested and a few more boys in the town I grew up in where molested as well. I also have a vitamins and hairloss year old son and I almost never let him out of my sight while he was growing up. Your story prompts me to maybe tell my story on here… maybe I can help a mommy too.
I am so thrilled that you wrote this, Beth, los angeles cancer specislist. I ended up with a pp psychosis after my anxiety and OCD spiralled out of control. I finally realized the thoughts that I was having were intrusive thoughts. The difference was that I thought my husband was a molestor, los angeles cancer specislist. I was never molested and he is so not a molestor. I thought other people were going to harm my daughters, los angeles cancer specislist, but since he was always there, los angeles cancer specislist, I always thought he harming them.
Finally, reluctantly, and urgently I made an appointment with a therapist who told me gently that I "should have been on medication yesterday. It was a symptom, a treatable one. Survivor, I am so happy I came across this post, because I have been struggling for the past year with a very similar experience.
After my son was born, I became so worried that someone would molest my daughter, who was 2 at the time. The molestor could have been anyone: I was completely alone with the thoughts and believed I was going crazy. I sought help, but was never diagnosed with, nor treated for, los angeles cancer specislist, PP issues. Now, weeks after making that horrific accusation, I believe my husband is telling the truth when he says he did nothing to our daughter; he is a good man, wonderful father and I can not believe that he would be los angeles cancer specislist child molestor.
We are in counseling and my daughter is seeing a psychologist, who is trying to determine whether or not anything happened.
I am so confused! I love my husband and want to believe him and, in some twisted way, wanted to believe that I was simply gripped by PP OCD. Can anyone offer any words of wisdom??